22 JUN, 2024
Just over a year ago, I was made redundant from my job. I didn’t necessarily have anything lined up in case that happened, so I was like welp... shit.
However, my immediate reaction wasn’t “well, time to find another job”, it was “man... fuck that job, I don’t need a job anyway...
I’m different!”
I’m an overthinker, I always have been. So, rather than just do an action and make things happen, I often think about it. I think about what I should do. I think about what I just did. I think about what I should have done. I’m always just thinking. In this situation after I lost my job and then thought to myself “I’m different anyways”, I then started thinking “but why do I think that?” It’s the kind of self-analysis that can really put you in a catatonic state. Luckily I’ve been doing it for years so I can get through the whole thing quite quickly, lol.
From this thought process came THE MANTRA, a song about hubris and reality.
Firstly, I like rapping lol. The whole “I’m different, I’m different, I’m different thing” just honestly came from me spitting bars to myself randomly. I then decided I wanted to immortalise that phrase and that flow in this song, and this would be the perfect concept for it. But yeah, rapping has always come more naturally to me than singing, I’ll be honest. I was a rapper first, and I like writing, so rapping has always been my preferred medium to get these stories/feelings out. And also, sometimes you gotta pop out and show niggas... I can do this too loool. No but honestly, I like the energy that rapping brings, I’ve literally always been a fan of it (for real, some of the first songs and albums I listened to were rap - shout out Tinie Tempah)
Secondly, it’s honestly really difficult to write out exactly what the song is about because it encapsulates so many feelings at once. There’s the denial of the speaker being presented at the beginning of the song. There’s the realisation and understanding of the hypocrisy in the second verse. There’s the relapse in the third verse (after that hard beat drop!) with a slight tinge of self-awareness. And then the resignation in the song’s final moments. What a human thing, to go back and forth with yourself like this. We’re not linear, our opinions and feelings ebb and flow. It’s very difficult to sum up, isn’t it? I suppose you just have to experience it. That’s why THE MANTRA is a song and not a caption on an Instagram post.
Thirdly, this song hasn’t performed as well as FERMI did. That’s fine. I like the song, I’m sure people will hear it, and everything else, soon enough. This is the closest to myself I think any of the “characters” on ‘the show’ come to being literally just me, simon. While I did lose my job, I didn’t lose it in the way the song describes. The scenario and everything I’m talking about is made up. However, this outro:
And still...
A late night with panicking a lot.
The stress of an amateur to go pro.
A late night with panicking a lot.
The stress of an amateur to go pro.
A late night with panicking a lot.
The stress of an amateur to go pro.
A late night with panicking a lot.
The stress of an amateur to go pro.
A late night with panicking a lot.
That’s real. While a lot of people haven’t heard the song, I’m constantly thinking about how I’m going to get people to hear it. It’s a plight I’ve been struggling with for many, many years since I started making music and wanting to share it. Hannah and I, and everyone else I’m working with, are really making steps towards something really big, I can really feel it, but it can be really easy to feel disillusioned. It feels like the music industry is constantly moving away from us as we’re chasing it. I suppose we just need to run faster. Once we figure out what direction in which to run, it’s over for you bitches!
So, if you’re reading this, I genuinely do appreciate the fact that you’re here! I really am glad you came through! I’m looking forward to sharing “the show” with the world, I’m really proud of it.
I hope people feel seen by it...
Thank you!
However, my immediate reaction wasn’t “well, time to find another job”, it was “man... fuck that job, I don’t need a job anyway...
I’m different!”
I’m an overthinker, I always have been. So, rather than just do an action and make things happen, I often think about it. I think about what I should do. I think about what I just did. I think about what I should have done. I’m always just thinking. In this situation after I lost my job and then thought to myself “I’m different anyways”, I then started thinking “but why do I think that?” It’s the kind of self-analysis that can really put you in a catatonic state. Luckily I’ve been doing it for years so I can get through the whole thing quite quickly, lol.
From this thought process came THE MANTRA, a song about hubris and reality.
Firstly, I like rapping lol. The whole “I’m different, I’m different, I’m different thing” just honestly came from me spitting bars to myself randomly. I then decided I wanted to immortalise that phrase and that flow in this song, and this would be the perfect concept for it. But yeah, rapping has always come more naturally to me than singing, I’ll be honest. I was a rapper first, and I like writing, so rapping has always been my preferred medium to get these stories/feelings out. And also, sometimes you gotta pop out and show niggas... I can do this too loool. No but honestly, I like the energy that rapping brings, I’ve literally always been a fan of it (for real, some of the first songs and albums I listened to were rap - shout out Tinie Tempah)
Secondly, it’s honestly really difficult to write out exactly what the song is about because it encapsulates so many feelings at once. There’s the denial of the speaker being presented at the beginning of the song. There’s the realisation and understanding of the hypocrisy in the second verse. There’s the relapse in the third verse (after that hard beat drop!) with a slight tinge of self-awareness. And then the resignation in the song’s final moments. What a human thing, to go back and forth with yourself like this. We’re not linear, our opinions and feelings ebb and flow. It’s very difficult to sum up, isn’t it? I suppose you just have to experience it. That’s why THE MANTRA is a song and not a caption on an Instagram post.
Thirdly, this song hasn’t performed as well as FERMI did. That’s fine. I like the song, I’m sure people will hear it, and everything else, soon enough. This is the closest to myself I think any of the “characters” on ‘the show’ come to being literally just me, simon. While I did lose my job, I didn’t lose it in the way the song describes. The scenario and everything I’m talking about is made up. However, this outro:
And still...
A late night with panicking a lot.
The stress of an amateur to go pro.
A late night with panicking a lot.
The stress of an amateur to go pro.
A late night with panicking a lot.
The stress of an amateur to go pro.
A late night with panicking a lot.
The stress of an amateur to go pro.
A late night with panicking a lot.
That’s real. While a lot of people haven’t heard the song, I’m constantly thinking about how I’m going to get people to hear it. It’s a plight I’ve been struggling with for many, many years since I started making music and wanting to share it. Hannah and I, and everyone else I’m working with, are really making steps towards something really big, I can really feel it, but it can be really easy to feel disillusioned. It feels like the music industry is constantly moving away from us as we’re chasing it. I suppose we just need to run faster. Once we figure out what direction in which to run, it’s over for you bitches!
So, if you’re reading this, I genuinely do appreciate the fact that you’re here! I really am glad you came through! I’m looking forward to sharing “the show” with the world, I’m really proud of it.
I hope people feel seen by it...
Thank you!